the last dance - the beginning of us?

2003-07-09T21:53:00.000+08:00

Well I'll follow you wherever
When you lead me by my nose
On another big adventure- I suppose
Then you lay me down in clover
With their petals on my back
I should make some time
To do more things like that...

Won't you sing to me your poetry,
Won't you take me to your home,
Won't you be for me forever
So I'll never be alone
And just one thing...
If you're my queen...
Then it's a beautiful thing...

Well I'm buried in my bedroom
Under fourteen feet of clothes
I could drown in all this clutter I suppose

But then you're standing in my doorway
With a suitcase on your back
And it blows my mind
When you do things like that

Yeah, reminding me
Well I might be poor
But summers free...
For me, I didn't know I was sleeping

sister hazel - a wonderfully nice nice nice song.

2003-07-09T21:48:00.000+08:00

p.s - next time anyone goes to sentosa, try to exfoliate using the rough sands inside the sea. it's so good, your skin feels damn smooth and clean afterwards! haha my fwen even had an idea to import the sand and sell it to body shop or sumtin.

2003-07-09T21:42:00.000+08:00

wah haven't blogged fer such a loong time..sorrie guys but was reallie preoccupied with lotsa stuff. after common test everyone jus went crazee and celebrate like hell..oh wtf if i scored an O fer maths..i dun freakin care..heck about all the other subjects too..haha thursdae was a dae fer my classmates to go spastic in my bedroom's air complete with ice cream and waffle crisps, fridae was woo hoo shoppin trip with the girls, saturdae was..softball time! heh but the stayover at the oriental was the greatest..it's amazing how a bunch of people that haven't met fer three months or so can click and fit right into each other again in a matter of seconds. and how much secrets can be spilled in a night - with help of a lil booze and a game *grin* sentosa on sundae was how relaxing..we lay on the soft sand and talked fer hours, so comfortable that one time we actually fell asleep..and ended up like lobsters, as you all who have seen my face and shoulders should agree to. and we keep singin the finding nemo song - somewhere, beyond the sea..even in the toilet cubicles when we were bathin, not feeling any slight embarassment or thinkin that some other toilet-user might faint when they hear it. haha it's so nice when you can let go of everything else in the world and enjoy the moment..either with your buddies, like on mondae when we played mahjong and cooked five packets of instant noodles in one gigantic bowl, or with yourself when you settle down on a rainy night, curl up with a good book and norah jones in the background.. aah this is the life..oh and everyone shud have been in rj field yesterdae during our training..it was an unbelievably beautiful sight. it was mildly sunny with slight rain drops and the place looks golden and sparkly all of a sudden, then a rainbow - both ends visible - appeared in the sky among fat silvery clouds..and when we were almost done the sky blushed and turned reddish purplish orangeish. all these and the fact that the trees at the side of the track are blooming with pink and white flowers that look like cherry blossom, the place was like a heaven on earth..okie maybe not so la a bit hyperbole there but it was almost magical that we jus lay down on the grass and watched.

2003-06-30T18:10:00.000+08:00

beautiful day despite my maths common test, for which i'd only score thirty upon sixty-six even if i did everything correctly i.e assumin no careless mistakes - fat chance. i reallie find myself not caring..i know that if i had put in a lil more time i'd be able to do it. but is it worth it compared to the precious memories i weaved with everyone around me? for me it isn't..i did a most grievous mistake when i din spend enuff time to be at a loved one's side, and i can't make it up to her anymore cos she's gone forever. and i dun wanna repeat this regret. so maybe some people say i got my priorities wrong..but i look at life with differently tinted glasses. there are more important things than marks that you're not goin to give a heck about ten years from now. like how bright everyone's grins were, how nicely warm were their hugs when i met them again this morning after three weeks of absence - julienne, dharma, manda, min li, ai mei, dawn, joan, kooi fei, shu en..smiles brought to my face by people like ivan, sherman, ren ji and victor..and company of old mates like cheryl, jun and wen..list can go on and on..you guys cured my homesickness.

sayank, if you ever read this, jus wanna say a bunch of thanx for the sweet things you said yesterdae :)

and for you - you promised to be there
should i crumble
and should my light fall
and leave my world in darkness

i would do the same for you.
sekarang, belum tentu.

2003-06-26T00:10:00.000+08:00

catch my heart--
it is of one wish
that i have carefully threaded in your absence--
the wish to spend the rest of my days
walking down misty avenues
with cloaked trees on either side,
and parks where bright children
play and laugh and where
couples sit in glowing circles,
heaven found in each other's eyes;
and down this avenue will be
the coffeehouse where we have
our scones and quiet conversations
about everything,
so that while walking i can imagine
our seat by the window waiting for us.
but first, to start:
catch my heart.

2003-06-26T00:06:00.000+08:00

jus finished readin harry potter..took a few days to find it, cos even in indo it got sold out by like one pm on the twenty-first. jus when i thought i gotta wait a loong one week before buyin it in s'pore, my older brother suddenly got it fer me from a small secluded bookshop! *thanks mike. it was damn good considerin i read through it in bout a day or so, putttin it down only to go out or take a shower. wish i can do the same with tarling or sloman hmph. guess it was obviously an extremely enjoyable story..but it made me a li'l sad cos in a way it's about reallie angry people this time. reminds me of us sometimes when we're in skul among our friends. anyway i find 'spirited away' very much amazing..it's such a beautiful beautiful movie..*thanks again to my bro who keep tellin me to watch it :) when it ended i felt as though i jus woke up from a deep sweet dream..it was simply..magical.

2003-06-22T22:48:00.000+08:00

unlimited shoppin free hours of pool good food good wine manicure pedicure beautiful car to drive around great new friends. wat more can i ask? totally spoilt down in indo. haha no time to mug! heh shall learn to hypnotize and convince myself that onlee promos are important..common test is rubbish. yesh. hmm have been happee and contented these last few days that i din reallie feel like bloggin much..jus like wat jianwei said. here life is so much more simple and warm and trusting somehow. there is no bitchin involved, no worrying about reputation, no need to be politically correct all the time..thought a bit about my life the past six months when i narrated it to my fwen. and i realised it's been kinda..dizzying [ha is there such a word oh heck]. it's like a fast wild ride on a roller coaster, where you have an exhilirating time and you just get carried away. a lil crazy fun that's all..but to an extent, wrong. so now i'm trying to settle down fer a cozy sweet ride on the merry-go-round..but wat happened happened and i din regret most of them. ya noe, cos every single thing is an experience and you'll look back at it one day and smile..or it's jus fate or something blah blah. so if i can rewind the scenes and asked whether i want to do things differently..i wouldn't know whether to refuse or nod. haha but i certainly wun want to lose the wunderful friends i found along the way! hee love ya darlings.

2003-06-18T00:27:00.000+08:00

lying in my bed
i hear the clock tick and think of you
turning in circles
confusion is nothing new
flashback to warm nights almost left behind
suitcase of memories..
after your picture fades and darkness has
turned to grey
watching through windows i'm wondering
if you're ok..
sometimes you picture me
i'm walking too far ahead
you're calling to me, i can't hear
what you have said..
and you say
go slow, i fall behind..
if you're lost you can look and you will find me
time after time
if you fall i will catch you i'll be waiting
time after time..

really beautiful song there by eva cassidy..soundtrack of smallville. had an amazingly lovely dream yesterday night. so unexpectedly he reminds me of the significance of his presence in my life..he whom i often took for granted. this left me feeling floaty almost the whole day..but even that can't erase the bittersweetness of you from my mind completely. every small thing seems to pull the trigger and pops up images of you..of the old you..of us in the past. so maybe i should just accept your existence inside my head. like black and white pictures in the background..and wait patiently till they fade for good.

2003-06-15T22:49:00.000+08:00

hoho heard embassy was damn sian..very few girls and super crowded. and onlee three softballers went? hiak hiak that's like, the lowest record so far! quite sad there. see, the rest of us has foresight not to go heh how smart is that! haha think because we din go den it's not fun liao. like wat joan said - we're the missin elements! *grin* okie i shall stop bein mean and ego. for now. hmm jakarta has been kewl..my cousin / best best friend and i spent some quality time together. shoppin, cookin, drivin around, jus talkin and talkin..it's wunderfully nice. and we're still goin to spoil ourselves silly at the salon, watch movie and den play pool with her university friends! hah damn fun. so dun worry guys, i'm not dyin of boredom..shudn't need arya to entertain me haha. and shu fang..i'm sorrie darlin i can't fly back there now like ya asked me to..normally i wud be around whenever you need me but this time it's kinda impossible. i'll give you support from here kay? hai missin you dear. this quote from julienne is fer ya..

"the world has a way of spinning us forward
so fast
that we end up holding the hands of those
who happen to be beside us"

2003-06-14T23:25:00.000+08:00

i don't want to look back..to reminisce..to remember.
let me bury those days,
those memories.
let me forget
you.

2003-06-14T23:08:00.000+08:00

hai finally can use the comp after two daes..argh how i wish i haf my own laptop! haha goin to get one soon so wat the hell. be patient stef, be patient..reached home sweet home, after not havin set foot in it fer six months it still looks almost exactly the same. the comfort of the familiars..so glad some things are jus waitin fer ya, unchanged and loyal. anywayz, why does everyone seem to be muggin?! wan le..die..i haven't touched sloman..i dun even have one in the first place! oh no. oh wtf i'm jus gonna pretend to forget about all these unpleasant stuff and live in self-denial for two more weeks. delusion = delirium..wait a minute that equation doesn't reallie make sense. oh damn nevamind..shit i'm ramblin crap. oh who cares? bwa haa haa.

2003-06-12T00:02:00.000+08:00

[ i won't worry my life away..
when i fall in love, i take my time,
there's no need to hurry when i'm makin up my mind..
you can turn off the sun,
and i'm still gonna shine..]

jason mraz - the remedy..damn freakin kewl song that has been stuck in my head fer the entire day. haha joan ya shud read that lyrics. hmm indo life has been so far so good..stuffin myself with food, when i come back i'll jus be like bloat in findin nemo haha. it's kinda nice havin the feelin of family's warmth though..aunties askin from the time you wake up, "wat do you wanna eat fer dinner?" and checkin whether you have enuff snacks to last ya the entire day. or grandma sayin that you shud wear a jacket above that tank top cos you'd catch a chill. haven't been fussed on fer quite a while heh. but freedom does make up for that while i'm in singapore..i feel like goin fer embassy on the 14th now! shit man. ya guys betta dun have fun without me! -evil grin-

2003-06-11T00:56:00.000+08:00

take, o take those lips away
that so sweetly were forsworn
and those eyes, the break of day
lights that do mislead the morn

hmm, quotes from shakespeare's m4m that actually kinda applies to me or made at least a bit of sense when i tried to read it today. note the word tried, fell asleep after ten minutes or so..haha. hey, at least i put an effort kay. for those who keep remindin me to mug fer common test, be happy. i actually felt like i miss training this morning..softball seems to be a part of me already it feels weird not to have it around. jus like some people..ya know who you guys are. hmm, thankiew to those that tell me by sms or by my guestbook or watever that they reallie miss me..feel reallie honoured -grin- you all made my day!

2003-06-10T00:54:00.000+08:00

before anything, jus wanna say a bunch of thnx to dear dawnzie who helped so much with this blog thingie, won't be able to do this without her! anyway..it's weird that a short one and a half hour journey in the plane brings me to a completely different place. different language, totally different atmosphere, a whole different group of people surrounding me..another me? i dunno..it's as if i have two separate lives. a funny feeling i haven't undergone in a realie long time. oh well, to look at the brighter side it's great to see my wunderful cousins again and eat the extremely delightful home cookin food. haha and i realise how much my friends mean to me. a-oh-one-dee people, softballers, rg two-eight sistas..i miss ya all so so much! sorry bout the things i left behind, like training, and pw meetings..i wish i'm there guys!